Fear Factor

Let that sink in.

To many people that know Mark, he is an extrovert: friendly, sociable, top performer. Mark enjoys ordering his usual at his usual place where everyone knows his name. What people don’t know is that Mark is afraid of change. He will not walk into a room where he doesn’t know anyone and do something he’s never done before.

Every organization needs strong individual contributors and they like people that won’t ruffle feathers. Consistency is important. Becoming an expert in your trade is a strong skill.

What happens when the organization gets acquired, there’s not enough work requiring those skills, or there’s a lot of turnover with new personalities? How does Mark handle it?

Fear of Change. Fear of Failure. Fear of the Unknown. Fear of Rejection.

There’s a book already written about The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** by Mark Manson if you’d prefer 272 pages on this topic. Instead, here’s a few quick tips:

1. Start Small - Go to the restaurant you know and love, but order something new off the menu. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it. Either way, now you know.

   Other small options: Go to a different park, try a new exercise routine, read a different author

2. Add low stakes - Play a game. Board game, card game, escape room, laser tag, golf, etc. This is putting you in a position where you might lose. Even professional golfers do not win every game. Accept that you will not be the best every time, but you will likely be the best at least once based on the odds if you keep playing and even more if you practice.

3. Understand your span of control - All things become more palatable when you feel like you are in control of the situation. You are not in the passenger seat of your own life.

4. Network - If you continuously expand your network you will never be alone in a room and those people will know your value. When you know someone in that role or at that other company, you begin to build a new comfort zone.

   How do you network? Literally say ‘Hi.’ Most people are open to a new connection.

5. Be Alone - Go eat alone. Go to a movie alone. People who are willing to be in public alone and be comfortable doing so have a high level of confidence in themselves. This will show you have conquered your fear. When you’re not afraid to be alone, you can adapt to any new situation.

Everyone is afraid of something. Some people can walk into any room, but hate roller coasters. Some people are afraid to ask for what they want but love trying new things. You control how you prepare to be in new situations and you also control how you react to them. You also control if you choose to express your fear or not. People do not have to know you’re afraid if you don’t want them to. Many people have a tough exterior and a soft inside.

I am afraid too. I fear projecting my fear onto my kids. I fear they will face bullies. I fear presentations even though I’m great at them. I have fear every time I start a new job. I feared leaving my job and not having a direct source of income.

I do it all anyway. I am not fearless. I’ve just learned how to manage my fear.

The more skin you have in the game, the bigger the risk. You might fall flat on your face or you might fly. What’s stopping you from flying?

I challenge you to not say no to a new situation only because you’re afraid. You can do this!